By Todd Duncan

Let me tell you a story of audacious courage.

Do you have children? Well, Deb and I have two high-octane, athletic, teenage boys that will climb, jump off of or skateboard over any object known to man. It’s not unusual for us to get a call that one of them is getting stitches or an X-ray. Both kids are on their high school varsity surf team, which in California is better than being on the football team.

Last February the boys were at surf practice at 6:00 a.m. fighting the predawn, freezing cold water. On the very first wave, our youngest son Matthew wiped out. The tremendous wave tossed him around, pulling at the surfboard leash and causing the board to snap back against the side of his head like a giant paddle ball. He surfaced consciously, but blood was pouring from a large wound on his scalp. His older brother helped him get into shore, and his coach rushed him to ER.

I got the call to pick up Matt at hospital. When I arrived, the doctor was stitching up a serious gash on the side of my son's head. As he finished, the doctor called me out into the hallway, saying words no parent ever wants to hear:

“Something is wrong. I want to do a CAT Scan.”

My heart dropped to my toes. This was one of those moments when it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, or how many deals are in your pipeline—in this moment you know that you and everyone you love are mortal. Matthew's skull was broken, and there was nothing I could do.

My son was admitted to ICU at Children’s Hospital in Orange County, and for three hours I sat in the waiting room. I spent the time thinking about my life; not about regrets I have, but about how happy I am for the things I haven't missed.

I haven’t missed my kids' lives. I haven't given up on my own life, even when times were dark. I've done everything I could as a dad, living out new experiences and challenges with my family at my side. And sitting in that hospital waiting for Matthew to come out of life-saving surgery, this was the thought that brought me the most peace.

This is why I want you to learn and grow as fast as you can; so you can work less and make more money. Do not miss your life. Do not miss your children's lives.

After the operation the surgeon explained that the surfboard fin had crushed Matt’s skull, puncturing the sack around his brain, and slicing through the part of his brain that controls speech. The doctors expressed that there was a possibility that Matt would ever talk again.
As a speaker the idea that my perfect son, with his darling sense of humor and ability to debate, may never speak again was one of the hardest realizations of my life. 

“We need Matt to do two things: he needs to talk, and he needs to smile,” explained the doctor.

As Matt began to wake up, I urged him to respond. And as he started trying to move his mouth, tears began welling up in my eyes.

“Am I on the other side?” Matt asked. I howled laughing, and he smiled.

After spending two increasingly uncomfortable nights in a tiny, comfortless room, Matthew plucked up the courage to ask the doctor how much longer he’ll be in the hospital. After consulting his chart, the doctor replied, “A week, maybe two weeks.” To which Matt promptly said, “THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.”

He’s fourteen years old, and it’s only been 48 hours since he had brain surgery where they put in two titanium plates and twenty-four screws.

He the said, “WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN FOR ME TO GET OUT OF HERE TODAY?”

Matt was released 3 hours later.

The Learning

“That is unacceptable.”  

“What has to happen in order for this to change?”

I call these “Power Phrases”. Use them! Take back control! Own your life!

1. What is no longer acceptable to you in business?
2. What is no longer acceptable to you in your life?
3. What needs to happen in order for things to change?

At our Sales Mastery Event this past October, over 50 professionals lined up at microphones and shared with over 1,500 other participants, the answer to the above three questions. 

In conclusion, make a list of your top five answers for questions 1 and 2.  Then come up with one thing you can do to change your reality. You will find this to be one of the most amazing exercises you could ever go through!

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