By Todd Duncan

The Law of the Courtships says that for a sales relationship to work on the outside, it must first be right in the inside. In other words, to build loyal, lasting relationships with your clients, you must take the time to know them, not just know about them. And you must let them know you.

The more you know your prospects the more you will understand what’s important to them about a relationship with you, what they look for in your product and service, and what they place value on. This will make you more confident and competent in deciding if you should pursue a deeper relationship with them. Loan originators would increase their success rate dramatically if they did a better job “dating” their prospects before ever saying “I do” to a sales relationship.

Relationships Must Be “Essential”.

Ken Blanchard once gave Todd some great advice:

Relationships have two parts: essence and form. If essence is wrong, you will spend 90% of your time on form.

This advice exposes the root of most failing or failed sales relationships. When originators try to build revenue before building relationships, they are trying to grow the outside of the relationship (the form) before cultivating the inside of the relationship (the essence).

This results in sales relationships that are both shallow and fruitless. In new sales relationships, every prospect will either have an essence match with you or not. If there is a shared essence, the relationship can be highly profitable and void of unreasonable demands and stress. Without an essence match, the relationship will suffer under a burden of unrealistic expectations and unneeded stress.

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